Dec 07 2009
Mellowing With Age Not a Myth
We celebrated my father’s 85th birthday yesterday.
As I sat there watching him enjoy his dinner and laughing at the antics of his grandchildren, I couldn’t help but smile at how much he has mellowed with age. When I was younger, he was tough. Really tough. Opinionated. Obstinate. Prone to cynicism. As a teenager, when I would ask for permission to go out with my friends, he would randomly say no. When I would ask why, his response would be, “Because I said so.” End of discussion. Now I see a softer side to him; he laughs more, even cries occasionally (particularly when my daughters play the violin for him). And he’s definitely much easier on waitresses and other service personnel than he used to be.
So I had to wonder, is there any scientific proof to what I have experienced with him – that personalities can mellow with age. I came across this report from a few years ago from the Journal of Neuroscience. The study suggests that elderly people may be better at perceiving happiness and worse at perceiving fear, which researchers say supports the idea that people do mellow with age.
In the study, volunteers were asked to pick out the pictures showing fear and happiness from others showing anger, disgust and sadness. As they viewed these images their brain activity was monitored using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). Results indicated that older people more accurately spot happy expressions while teenagers are better at identifying fearful expressions.
An anthropologist from Rutgers University explains that there may be an evolutionary advantage to mellowing with age. Helen Fisher says, “I don’t think it’s just about going to your grave feeling happier about life.” She says our hunter-gatherer ancestors may have benefited from the presence of happier elders with a calm approach to settling disputes within groups. “There would have been a tremendous advantage to have older people in the group with an optimistic view,” she adds.
All I know is that it makes my time with dear old Dad much more enjoyable. Happy Birthday Dad.